As the New Year is under way, it is likely that most of you have set some sort of goal for this year. Statistics show that the majority have already given up on that goal before January is not even completed.

Obviously the goals that we set are too far out of reach and not broken into little chunks, or you just don’t really want it. It’s more of someone else’s goal than your own. If it truly was something you wanted, you would find strength and persistence. I see this a lot with the children that come through Begin Bright centres. Often it’s the parents that set goals for their children. What marks they want to receive, what instrument or language to master, what school to get into, what sports to play.

If your child isn’t succeeding, here are five steps you can go through to help your child identify their goal for this year. If they are empowered and feel as though they have designed their own aims, they are so much more likely to achieve it and to put in the required effort at school.

Step One:

Set aside at least half an hour of uninterrupted one on one time with your child. Have a computer, ipad or any device that you can look stuff up on the internet handy. Have some pieces of paper, pencils and textas. Have your child’s school report and results from any tests that they did.

Step Two:

Write a list of everything your child did last year. First put things like what activities they did through school (choir, soccer, netball, language etc). Then put the activities that they did out of school (sport, dancing, singing, gym, music, religion, nippers, tutoring etc). Next go through their feedback from reports and testing and talk to your child about how they went. This is not necessarily to praise them if they did well or to make them aware of if they did poorly, it is merely to review how they went.

Step Three:

Discuss with your child what they liked most about last year. What things made them happy and proud? What made them feel disappointed or upset? In this part of the process, try not to pass on how you felt about each event, just listen to your child talk and ask them more questions.

Step Four:

Go through the list and ask what they want to continue this year. Write a separate list with things that they would like to try this year. Get your computer and research different activities that they would like to try and write the prices next to them. If your child is older that around 7 years old, they are starting to really understand the value of money. Tell them how much each week you are prepared to spend on their activities so as they’re going through their activities for at school and out of school they can see how much they can do. If they’re doing things like the NAPLAN or selective schools test this year, look online at some sample tests and ask how they would like to go in the test. If the tests are of no importance to your child or to you, don’t spend hours every week arguing your way through practice test papers, it isn’t going to make them love the process. However if it is a goal of theirs to aim for a certain mark, explain the effort that’s require to achieve it and get some sample practice tests online so that they can practice in their own time. This technique will make it much easier for you so you don’t have to force them to study as you have explained that if they want a good mark, they have to work for it. If your child was disappointed with their results at school, is feeling a lock of confidence because they can’t keep up with class work or home work has become a war zone, they may want to consider a tutor who can help make learning easier and more fun.

Step Five:

Collate the plan for the year. Write them in chronological order of when certain events or activities start throughout the year. Then write under each point what needs to be done in order to achieve that. If your child is late primary and wants to buy an electric guitar to play in a concert. You may outline how they can do jobs for neighbours so they can earn the money to buy one. They will love and appreciate it much more. Put it proudly on their wall and continue to read it with them at least weekly to see how they’re going.  

A lot of people I talk to think that this sort of thing is a little heavy for children. From working with many kids and being privileged enough to have had some greatly personal conversations with them, I know that children are far more in tune with themselves and perceptive than we give them credit for.

Give this a go with your child. You only have half an hour to lose, and if it works, you could have a year of your child achieving what they wanted to, being happy, confident and much easier to get along with! If you have success doing this process, please let me know by emailing learn@beginbright.com.au or post it on our facebook page.